No Offense, but…

Even when criticism is meant in the best way possible and prefaced by the words “no offense, but”, it has a way of sparking to life our defense mechanisms–all the ways we  cope with anxiety, threats to our self-esteem, and news that we have bad breath. Typical defense mechanisms are denial, avoidance, rationalization or projection: It’s not me, it’s you!

Personally, I’m a fan of denial and projection.

When I get the revision letter from Sarah Odedina in February, 2024, I’m expecting her to want rewrites. Then I get to the part where she sees the story going in a different direction, “from chapter 25 on.” The manuscript is 42 chapters long.

She wants me to completely rewrite ONE THIRD of the book.

Hello Defense Mechanism!

Instead, I wait. After a day and a night, I go back to the revision letter. The words ‘from Chapter 25 on’ still feel like I’m pressing on a new bruise. But now I can absorb why. She wants the story to focus more on the friendships. Yeah, okay, but I want to focus on my main character learning to accept her fears.

Also, in all honestly, I don’t want to do all that rewriting.

So I email Sarah. I write about my themes and my worry about the new direction. I hit send.

Then, my Defense Mechanism perks up. Who the heck is this Sarah person anyway? What’s her background? I’m firmly headed down the path of “It’s her, not me.”

With the help of my good friend, Google, I discover that Sarah Odedina spent 14 years at the top levels of Bloomsbury Publishing, UK. She was part of the team on every Harry Potter novel. She worked with authors I’m in awe of.

Why did I not know this before? Also–thank heaven I didn’t know this before. I would have been so intimidated.

So much for pinning this on her lack of experience.

She replies to my email. She understands my concerns. Yes, Cassie should face her fears. She just wants me to build up the friendship theme, as well.

Dang. She’s not only a brilliant editor, she’s also reasonable and understandable.

I’m screwed.

I’m going to have to make the revisions. 20,000 words gone. So many new words to discover. Will I be able to write something good enough for Sarah? And that’s the real issue. At the root of my Defense Mechanism is fear. 

What if I fail?

Isn’t that always the question?

I’m not sure how you handle fear and I’m guessing there are as many ways as there are defense mechanisms. I always go back to a quote I keep pinned to my bulletin board: If you’re going through hell, keep going.

In other words, the best way to move forward is to move forward.

I make a list of everything to address. Some simple: replace the word dumb with silly. Some huge: Give Cassie’s partner, TJ, a much bigger role in the story. I tell Sarah to give me a few weeks.

After a few weeks, I ask her for another few weeks.

A few weeks after that, I still can’t figure out a new ending. Cassie and TJ are in a trap and I don’t know how to get them out without a grown up coming to the rescue. And then an idea hits me. Maybe the kids can create a grown up without a grown up. (I realize this makes no sense, but it will next July when the book comes out. But by then you’ll have forgotten and it’ll be a complete surprise.) 🙂

I spend another week writing and then I send the full rewrite back to Sarah. It’s now April, 2024.

About a week later, she gets back to me with this:

“Let’s take it in-house.”

OMFG. (That’s OMG with a word that’s not allowed in middle grade novels.)

I have just sold a book.

I’m beyond happy as you might imagine.

But not for long.

Next month: The business side of things including money, contracts and all the stuff an agent does. (Unless you don’t have one.)

Thank you for reading! If you’d like to subscribe to my newsletter, click the Newsletter tab in the menu. It comes once a month with updates, tips, news and occasional giveaways/offers. If you know of anyone who might also enjoy the journey, please share the link. Scroll through my blog to read earlier editions.